Sunday, June 05, 2016

Holy Cow ! The Naked Truth...

Well, let's do one more of those "interesting" local newspaper stories. Last time, you'll recall it was the "cross-dressing" bank robber; this time it's another "dress code violation"...


"County Sheriff Mickey Smith's fleet of new, high performance, V-6 Dodge Chargers got a test run on April 25, when a naked woman stole a pickup truck and led sheriff's officers on a chase from East Buffalo to Sweetwater at speeds "in excess of 125 mph"."

Sheriff's deputies received a call about "a naked woman walking around on Ollie's Creek" in East Buffalo. While officers were in route to the scene, the suspect stole a 2016 red, high-mod, super-turbo Ford Raptor valued at $45,000 from a young man named Gurley Anderson, who said he "had just stopped to see if he could help out".

As officers approached East Buffalo Circle, they observed the suspect in the shiny, new truck - "still naked as a jaybird" - run a stop sign and continue south down Sweetwater Road in an erratic manner, crossing the center line, and running other folks off the road. A roadblock was set up at Grace Baptist Church, but the suspect pulled a U-turn through the parking lot and headed back north by the middle school.  The Sheriff said he was sure glad that the kids were inside given the chase and "y'know the way she was dressed and all".

Now what?  Better m-o-o-ve it...
At the narrow curve on Sweetwater, the suspect caromed off the road, jumped an irrigation ditch,  side-swiped a grazing cow, before coming to a halt in Albert Johnson's soybean field.

"The truck was surrounded in the field, but the 23-year old suspect jumped from the truck and began fighting with the officers.  She was eventually subdued."

'Yer reckon!?!

"The Sheriff said that "she was possibly high on drugs." 

"But he said the good news was...."

udderly disgraceful!"

"... the cow was not hurt."

(... only in North Carolina !)


Anonymous said...

Can barely believed this happened. Is East Buffalo a suburb in North Carolina?

Jim Blaine said...

Yes, but very "far out"....

Anonymous said...

I thought East Buffalo was Rochester?

Jim Blaine said...

This one is near mozzarella ..