Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The Robust Job Evaluation Ritual...


Job evaluations must be objective or else they wouldn't be fair.  And, life is not fair, so where does that leave us?  Ever thought about that?

Some consultant, some robusterian behavioral wizard, some unfathomable, "deep space" PhD, some "afraid-they're-gonna-sue" compliance officer has stuck the rest of us with this required annual ritual.   Much like Halloween, we all dress up as something we're not and parade about playing the adult version of "trick or treat."   We all are aware that the game is rigged, but we do our best to play along and objectively evaluate ourselves and others.  "Facebook evaluations" make more sense - y'know,  "thumbs up/thumbs down"?

Mirror, mirror on the wall... Oh, what fun - right!

"You're really are...
well... just incredible!

What a lie!  But, here's the most honest - and perhaps the only honest -  evaluation I've ever read:

The Honest Job Evaluation

* Job Knowledge
Employee Response:  I understand my job completely.

* Quantity of Work
Employee Response:  I feel I get as much work done as anyone else in the department - more in some cases.

* Quality of Work
Employee Response:  I expect things to be right or not at all.

* Planning & Organization
Employee Response:  I like to plan my work and work my plan.

* Attendance & Punctuality
Employee Response:  I'm always on time unless something happens.

* Cooperation
Employee Response:  I get along with everyone. I rarely start it.

* Analytical Ability
Employee Response:  I have plenty of common sense. I don't try to fix the wrong problem.

* Stability Under Pressure
Employee Response:  I have been known to have a fit but usually I can handle the pressure.

* Impact of Personality
Employee Response:  I keep my personality in order. I have earned a reputation I deserve.

* Self Expression
Employee Response:  I can tell things the way they are.

* Judgment
Employee Response:  My judgment is as good as the next one. I'm always pretty sure of everything.

* Dependability
Employee Response:  I am a very dependable person. I was raised this way.

* Leadership
Employee Response:  I try to set a good example. I'm willing to eat my own cooking.

* Initiative 
Employee Response:  I'm not one to be lazy. I know what to do when I see a wrecker with the hood up.


... now if we could just clone her... no lie!

... really like that "wrecker with the hood up" line - don't you!

* "robust" - adj., Eng., frequently used by economists and other robusterians meaning: "written by an idiot".

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