* You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
* People call at 9 p.m. and ask if they woke you up.
* You found your car keys, but have no idea where you parked the car.
* Some part of your body is always making a noise.
* You are a sustainer with NPR.
* You only need to send three more checks to the guy in Canada to receive your lottery winnings.
* Your ears are hairier than your head.
* In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
* You'd just as soon have a glass of wine as to have sex.
* Actually you'd prefer to have a glass of wine.
* You confuse being morally virtuous with no longer being asked.
* You can no longer "get down"... or back up.
And, last but definitely not least....
* Folks say you have a lot more patience,
when actually you just don't really care anymore.