What perplexes visitors most is why such "grand size", when the sanctuaries are only half full on Sunday mornings? The answer is easy. Want to hear it? It's because of "tradition".
In the South when folks get married (and yes we still do that "down heah"), by tradition relatives of the bride sit on one side of the church and relatives of the groom sit on the opposite side of the aisle. With me so far?
So, what does that have to do with oversized churches?
Well, the problem arises from the fact that most Southerners still like to marry their cousins. So, at the beginning of a wedding ceremony, the ushers ask each guest: "Are you related to the bride?" or "Are you related to the groom?" This ends up creating a tremendous problem. Since we're all related to each other, everyone immediately answers "yes" to that first question and we all end up sitting on the same side of the church. This problem, of course, requires an extra, extra large church! Comprendez...?
[ Listen, just go back and re-read it over again very, very slowly and it will come to you.]
2 comments:
I am beginning to understand your thinking now that I know all the facts. Jerry Lee Lewis was a talented person who married his cousin. I see a resemblance in the features of you and he and wonder now if perhaps the two of you were related. I say that because I also see a similarity in the thought process. Mr. Lewis once said "I am right. I'm always right. One time I thought I was wrong. I found out I was right."Upon reading that I thought of you. Perhaps I have found the words to be inscribed on your tombstone? See you in church cousin.
As Billy Joel would say... "You may be right..."
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