The Coffee Break...

A Magic Wand Regulatory Exam !!

After a certain age, your doctor starts to suggest, in a persistent sort of way, that you schedule a procedure that many euphemistically describe as "an internal audit".  Personally, the more intrusive "regulatory exam" phrase seems a better analogy and a lot closer to the truth.

My time was at hand recently. "Prepping" for the

A "no-no"!!

procedure requires drinking a foul-tasting liquid which creates, shall we say, a liberating experience and you are required to stop eating. On the way to the appointment, early a.m.-next day, stopped for a cup of coffee to steady my nerves. 

At the scheduled time, a cheerful nurse was working through "20 questions" with me, when she asked if I had had anything to drink.  Told her I had considered it, but had just settled for a cup of coffee instead. She promptly informed me that food and liquids were prohibited on the day of the exam; and therefore, that cup of java meant a two hour delay.


She gave me that "you can try to argue with me, but you and I know it ain't gonna work look" (see just like a reg exam!); but, did offer to reschedule me for another day, which would, of course, require "re-prepping". Pondered that a couple of seconds, made a masterful, executive decision and graciously agreed to wait.

About three hours later, the nurse popped back out to say they were ready. As we walked to the back, she apologized for the unexpected extra delay. I said it wasn't a problem, because to pass the time I had just stepped out and around the corner to...

... have a cup of coffee. 

She stopped; she turned slowly toward me; she looked me dead in the eye and said:  "I have to use a needle to insert the "IV" for this procedure and I can make sure it hurts you..."

OK, yes M'am!
I understand...

I was clear on her message and followed her forward, quietly like a little puppy on a leash...

Later, as I was leaving; she volunteered across a packed waiting room: "Saw the photos! You looked good! Think they got your best side ...."