Thursday, March 31, 2016

Unauthorized Withdrawals.... Helmet Heads

"I would like to request
a cash advance..."
When working for a financial institution, the occasional "hold-up" is one of the professional facts of life we all encounter. Fortunately credit union robberies are relatively rare events; and, although extremely frightening, are usually over quickly with little harm done. Except for... the shattered nerves and emotional roller-coaster for the staff which are always difficult and wrenching aftershocks....

We always try to make the robber understand that our goal is to provide the best, most exemplary "customer" service possible. Whatever you need the answer is "yes"; and, you will also receive the fastest, most courteous service imaginable - because we want you happily out of there as quickly as possible !! 

But, sometimes a concern over the "unprofessionalism" of the robber makes us hold our breaths.  The robber has responsibilities to live up to also, if everything is to go as it should.  We had one of those moments of doubt not too long ago in the midst of "an unauthorized withdrawal event"....

"Would you like to see
my I.D. ?"
"No, no that's OK..."
The robber came into the branch wearing a dark-shaded motorcycle helmet and displaying a silver hand gun.  He was a bit overweight; our staff froze to attention.  As he leaped over the teller counter, he accidentally dropped his pistol.  So, here we go with him on one side of the counter and his pistol on the floor on the other side of the counter....

Sure enough he proceeds to politely ask one of our employees, if she could please pick up the gun and hand it to him!  There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone tried to imagine that idea.  But it only took a second for everyone , including Mr. Helmethead, to realize the complete, absolute absurdity of his ridiculous request! 

Really, it was just so unprofessional... a flagrant, embarrassing breach of protocol !!!

Realizing his faux pas, the robber - probably blushing fully inside his helmet - half-heartedly permitted our tellers to help him struggle back over the counter to get his gun, so that we could all restart the process and try and get it right!

Here's a little "Bang"
for your bucks !!
On the replay, the tellers filled up his bag with cash, threw in a couple of extra candy suckers, and sent him on his way with a : "Have A Nice Day."

The fourteen extra dye-packs the tellers also stuffed into the bag - due to their profound disappointment in the quality of his work - exploded, covering him up with orange dust, about four blocks away. He won't be needing that helmet again any time soon...  

In this day and time, we just can't afford to have amateurs dropping in for surprise visits....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He must have borrowed Metzger's board meeting suit.