Saturday, January 16, 2016

Boomerangs Are Boomer-wrongs.....

Know what worries "Baby Boomers" most these days? Underwater mortgages? Low 401-K balances? Layoffs? Aging parents? Alzheimer's? Mortality?  

Nope; none of the above!  

The number one concern of those of us in the  "double B" generation are "boomerang" children!  

They're b-a-a-a-a-ck!!!!

Those little dears, with increasing frequency, are reappearing on parental doorsteps to reclaim "their room" and their "seat at the table"!  And, we're supposed to act delighted!!!!

As a parent this is a terrible dilemma - you love 'em but.... I mean even though they are adults, you still wait up for them to come in - right?  It's genetic , I guess.  And, they revert immediately to laundry contributors with special guest privileges.  They don't seem to understand you were kinda' starting to like the luxury of a lot of free time, free space, and the unscheduled life.

Feel threatened? Well, here's a "prevention plan" that works... 

After the last of our five kids had left the scene, my wife and I alerted everyone that we wanted to have a "family" conference call one weekend.  There was initially much concern - "Is something wrong?";  "What's happened?";  "Are you sick?" .  No, no we just want to let you know about a little change we've made since you've been gone.

When the day arrived and everybody was on the line, we proceeded to tell them how much we loved them and how proud we were that each of them was now established as an independent adult.  And, that they were always welcomed back home. 

But, that in the future, we would ask that they always call in advance to let us know if they were coming for a visit.  The questions of concern immediately arose again - "What's happened?";  "Has something gone wrong?" No, no, but since you all have left and we are by ourselves now, your Mother and I have decided to become nudists.

The sounds of gagging and retching were

suddenly quite profound, as were the "OMG's" as the terrible little "visuals" that announcement produced, started to seep into their consciousness...

Perhaps we've just been lucky so far with the absence of boomerang kids in our household and it wasn't really "the Plan" at all ....

But, I can tell you one thing for sure....

... they always call now before they come home!!! 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The plan you devised is referred to as the up front and personal plan. It gives a clear picture where you are coming from and where you have been. Nothing is hidden and everything is out in the open. It's being honest and letting it all hang out for everyone to see. That is true transparency.