Chain Reaction...

Dear CPFCU,

Thank you for submitting the detailed 350 page report, describing the alledged misrepresentations, falsifications and subsequent retaliation that occurred during your recent Region 3 exam conducted by our supervisory examiner , The Liquidator (ain't he something!).  

Prior reviews found...

The few parts of the report which we actually reviewed, we found to be quite amusing. Surely you know that to date NCUA has never made a mistake in connection with the exam process. This statement is clearly validated by the fact that there have been only four CU appeals - up the full chain of command - at NCUA in our entire history. And, our review of those four appeals most certainly confirmed, beyond doubt, that the CEOs filing those complaints were either 1) foolish or 2) just plain stupid (and generally we felt they were both.)

Stuck on stupid
and still spinning your wheels !?

 Really, can you imagine the arrogance of those "provincial yahoos" in thinking that we would convict ourselves ?!  I mean, how do they think this Agency actually works anyway ?  Are they stuck on stupid? Do they really believe we care what they think ?

As to your appeal, we're not about to endanger our perfect examination record by permitting anyone, including CPFCU, to try to confuse us with a bunch of facts. To quote our Big Boss: "It ain't happening." And, he swore before Congress back in February that we didn't have to give you nor anyone else a reason for the way we act. He hasn't changed his mind since then, hasn't changed it in over 34 years!  

So, hope you can see why we have found, based on your appeal,  that you are either 1) foolish or 2)  just plain stupid (and generally we felt you were both.) And by the way, the boys over at OIG have confirmed that when they get around to taking a look at your appeal, they too will agree with our conclusion.

So based on our finding that you appear to be both foolish and just plain stupid, we believe that your credit union is unsafe and unsound; and therefore represents a threat to the insurance fund.

Given the extraordinary reputation risk which you represent to the Fund, a "colonoscopical" exam team will hand-deliver to you shortly our formal response to your 1) foolish and 2) just plain stupid appeal.

We feel certain that our "reaction" will preclude your need...

... to ever appeal again.

With "warmest" regards,