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| Rarely insightful, but always colorful! |
prestidigitation!
According to sources at the Agency, who had been
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| No, Not Again !!! |
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| Much like rising interest rates: A Sure Bet ! |
Agency economists have reviewed historical data and concluded that there is a "100% 1-to-1 beta-coefficient" applicable to the relationship between living and dying! In other words the robusterians have forecast that there is a 100% likelihood that if you are living now that you will die at some point in the future. The trend line is not encouraging!
Much as with the certainty of interest rate risk (see NCUA's "Chicken Little" IRR Forecast - 8/13/14), the future death of all CU members and staff requires, according to Agency senior strategists, an immediate plan from all CU Boards and management.
Here's NCUA's preliminary guidance which closely parallels their IRR guidance... 2. Dig yourself into a hole. Vaults will not be required. Proceed to at least bury your head in the sand (but also "CYA" - if you can multitask!) as a pre-need planning policy.
3. Do not invest in green bananas; look for shorter maturities. Rates will be going skyward, although you may not.
4. Doomsday scenarios will not excuse the late filing of 5300 Call Reports. Normal fines will be imposed.
5. Update your resurrection plan. We view this as little more than a charter change; so, same rules will apply.
6. You will henceforth be designated as a "fixed asset" and therefore fall under that new "non-rule rule" policy. Any goodwill should, of course, be written off.
7. The Ombudsman is available should you have an unreasonable question.
8. Lie down and wait. Imagine yourself as a potted plant.
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| "Open" field of membership? |
9. Be sure to turn out the lights.
10. We'll see you in He........!
5 comments:
I plan on living forever; or, at least I'll die trying...
Only one question needs to be asked: Does NCUA have to work at being this stupid or does it come naturally? Like the stock market, they move in such a way as to confound the most people at the most inopportune time! Fear not! These are the same folks who forced the Corporates out of interest rate risk into credit risk... just to be safe! Which leaves them with a forward (and surprisingly backward)looking batting average of 0.00
The Robusterians at NCUA maybe confident in their prognostications concerning the directions of interests rates but they are missing a bigger threat.
The global economy seems to be contracting. Japan and Germany interest are in a decline. Eventually, this trend will hit the US.
The greater near term threat to credit unions is the continued contraction of interest rates. The spread is not enough for many credit unions to make it without heavy fee income. Actually, a rise in interest rates would be better for many credit unions because of an improved spread opportunity.
I am not a Robusterian so my concerns about continued low interest rates may just be one man's opinion. I do believe that the continued low interest rate environment will be a greater concern and more damaging that a dramatic rise in interest rates which most credit unions will handle in the long run if NCUA gets out of the way.
Don't mind ncua predicting we're going to die, but do they have to keep trying to kill us?
a small cu
You can't fix stupid but you can forecast it.
Again NCUA leads the way!
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