Rants and Raves...

Excuse me, may...
 I borrow a cup of sugar?

* "When you see the signs in the National parks  saying, "Don't Feed the Animals", it is not there to be mean to the animals.  The reason is because the animals will become lazy and will just hang around the campsite waiting for a handout. And, like welfare... (Well, you know where this is heading...)".

* "Weight Loss Support Group Buffet Banquet Scheduled for August 31." (Got to guess it's an all you can eat event...)

Let's jump on that idea!

* "Port City Attracting Mattress Stores" - "... mattress innovations are helping to drive the sector higher." (Mattress innovations?  Afraid to ask...)

4-Wheel Dumb....

* "Repair of Revere Road Continues" ... "DOT:  "We have a long road ahead of us." (Ya reckon...!)

* "Barber School Offers Free Haircuts" - a big part of the training program is actually cutting hair and practicing dyeing on real human beings.  The school cheerfully recruits volunteers for what amounts to a cut-price..." (Bad hair, cheerfully done ....)

But the subscription buster of the week is...

* "This newspaper has always advocated for
citizens that get involved and are genuinely concerned with helping to better their community.  Citizens that fall under that description are few and far between..." (.........)