 |
| All hands on deck! |
Don't quit while you're ahead! Here are 5 "super-telesistic" opportunities to up yours lending:
1. Purchase Loans from Out-of-State Lenders - Claim it's diversification and earn some great upfront fees, too! NCUA obsesses about "concentration risk" so you can really substantially reduce that risk by having a few bad loans in every state.
 |
| Can we help you? |
2. Buy Asset-Backed Securities and Novel Derivatives - Innovation is the key to our future success and "synthetic" loans are the future. Can't miss with this one; because the underlying assumptions are absolutely (and "robustly") empirical. The brokers and dealers just exude confidence; and they must know what they're doing, because Guccis, Rolexes, and gold chains ain't cheap! Last one I met got his start as a "sand states" real estate appraiser and his ancestors sold invisible ("synthetic") clothes to kings. And, now a special bonus, NCUA has endorsed all this based on its experience with regulating these practices at corporate Credit unions. Can't miss with this!
 |
| Only the best for you! |
3. Develop A Taste for Loan Participations - The rates and terms are simply fantastic! Most of these are just too good to be true. An unbelievable opportunity for those excess funds and you can always be certain that you are buying the highest quality loans the seller has to offer. You'd sell your best assets first wouldn't you?! Go for it!
 |
You're gonna
be famous! |
4. Make Commercial Loans - There isn't any real difference between a small consumer loan and business lending. Same process, just much, much bigger bucks! Let's stop hitting singles and swing for the fences. OK, if we need a little additional expertise, so what; there are lots of folks out there on the street from Lehman, Bear, WAMU, Wachovia, Countrywide who can set us right up!
 |
| Yield... spread.... |
5. Make Indirect Car Loans Through Car Dealers - We're losing market share! If the member is going to get screwed anyway, the least we can do is make it convenient! (Think Coach Bob Knight came up with that idea first.) At least we can profit from our members' loss and they don't really need to know about yield spread premiums or the true value of add-ons like "catastrophic meteor strike" insurance. Let's get in bed with these guys; sleep around a bit; it certainly won't hurt their reputation!
Really excited about all these wonderful new ideas!
Can't wait to see how you do!!!
2 comments:
Turning up the Squirm-O-Matic machine....
And if CUNA can continue to work its political magic in Washington and get us broader authority in these areas, man we can really move on out and expand on this stuff.
Post a Comment