Something Truly Novel....

Well, reading too many monthly staff reports has finally driven me to the edge of madness. My written entry to the annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is ready for submission.

For those of you unfamiliar with the "B-LFC", it is a creative writing contest sponsored by the English Department of San Jose State University. It was started in 1982. "The competition seeks to recognize the best in dreadful writing." [Feel this blog is indicative of my qualifications.]

The contest is named for Edward Bulwer-Lytton, author of the Victorian novel "Paul Clifford", which opens with the now infamous sentence: 

"It was a dark and stormy night." 

The Contest seeks "the worst possible opening sentence for an imaginary novel".  Although the rules vary somewhat from year to year, the goal is to write a single sentence with brevity a must (50 word max).  See rules at www.bulwer-lytton.com.

Here goes.....

"As the rickety roller-coaster climbed ever higher on their golden wedding anniversary amusement park lark, the elderly husband recalled, much too late, his sweet beloved's uncontrollable, nauseous reflex to fear; and, as the ride crested and plunged steeply into the abyss, he watched in horror as his old wife flashed before his eyes."

(I'm sure you can do better !)
[That shouldn't be too hard!]